Contractions and Re-Focusing

We are all home from church today. Shane stayed home to take care of Silas, which in turn was taking care of me. I started having some mild contractions this week and have been advised to take it easy. While I'm on a medication to stop them, as the medicine wears off, the contractions return. So Shane did the whole morning routine with Silas and let me relax.

I have to admit that it's been a hard few days. Hard because I did not expect the doctor to even be talking about pre-term labor when I went in on Friday. Hard because we don't know what might happen next. Hard because I can't keep doing all the things that I'm used to doing.

I told Shane on Saturday night that I was battling a good dose of mommy-guilt. I hadn't been able to play with Silas like we usually do. He had watched more than his typical one video per day, and by Saturday at noon, he had chicken nuggets 4 times this week. Sigh. Pride goes before a fall, it's true. I had just been thinking earlier in the week how pleased I was with his well-rounded diet and the ways I was getting him to eat veggies.

My friend Amber wrote a post that I read on Friday that has ministered to me all weekend. You can read it here, and she gives a link to the original post she read about The Myth of Being the Perfect Parent. I love the quote she chose from the original, "The goal is not to be a perfect parent. The goal is to be a faithful parent. And as long as my focus is on my own success or failure, rather than faithfulness to and love for the kingdom of God, I have failed."

Shane told me a while back that one thing we should be doing is preaching the gospel to ourselves every single day. So yesterday that's what I did. When I had to sit and let a contraction pass, I thought about how faithful the Lord has been to us; when I had to lay down in the afternoon, I listened to songs that reminded me of the cross; and when I put Silas to bed we sang, "Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus." I am praying that my focus would stay on love for the Lord and His Kingdom.

So far the contractions I'm having are not actually putting me into labor. And this can be very normal. The babies seem to be doing just fine, and are much more active than Silas ever was. I am going back to the doctor tomorrow for another check about the contractions, then have a big ultrasound (takes about an hour) scheduled for Wednesday.

Please pray with us that I will carry the babies to 37 weeks...that's just 8 weeks away. And pray that the doctors have wisdom about how to best help us make it there.

And you can also be thanking the Lord with us that Silas continues to thrive, even with a few questionable meals here and there!