This Time Around

After Shane and I arrived at the hospital to have Blaise, we laughed at one point because the delivery room looked almost exactly like the ones we had been in for our two previous induction/deliveries.  And those were in a different city, hours away from where we are now.  I had joked throughout this pregnancy that Shane was going to have to drive me down to Louisville so my old doctor could deliver our baby.  Thankfully I found a doctor here who I also love and I had a great hospital experience.

It was nice for things to feel so familiar this time around.  I felt like I knew what to expect from being induced, what I wanted to happen right after delivery, and how I would feel in the hours following.  There is something super exciting about having a baby for the first time.  But there is something wonderful about getting to go through it all again, having done and seen and felt before.

I was especially glad that all the hospital stuff wasn't new to me since this was part of my hospital routine this time around...

Our parents brought the older three up on Tuesday to see us and Blaise.  They all loved him right away.

When we got home that Wednesday, this was waiting to greet us...

People have been amazing this time around; we have had meals and sweet gifts and lots of friends checking up on us.

One of my favorite things this time around has been hearing Lieren and Simeon say, "I hold him?"  They have suddenly become big kids with a newborn around...

Silas loves his little brother immensely.  I can't really explain how grateful I am that the older three love their baby brother so much.

And this time around, this is what a first bath looks like...

I have a little audience for almost everything!

Because Blaise has three older siblings who still need to be entertained, he has been out and about quite a bit already.  We've been to the park a couple of times, to a farm park, and to church.  The older three also got to visit the zoo but Blaise and I stayed home.

We are nowhere near getting back into a routine and are just taking one day at a time still.  I am grateful for all the help we have as I figure out how to make it all work.  Just yesterday the Lord reminded me, "Do not fear."  So that has become my mantra for these days.  There will be lots of crazy, but I hope to face it with a heart of trust and not of fear.  I'm sure most of what I fear will not come to pass anyways, and if I knew some of what is to come, I wouldn't be able to bear the weight right now.  So I am finding ways to train my thoughts to trust.  And praying for grace.

Never The Same

One week ago today, Shane and I kissed our three babies good bye, leaving them in the care of my parents and Shane's mom, and drove to the hospital to have baby number four.

"There is something about certain things in life that just feel bigger than life itself," I said as we drove.

"Well, days like today you wake up realizing that life as you know it will never be the same," Shane replied.

So true.  We will never be the same now that our baby Blaise is part of the family.

We got to the hospital a little after 9 and our nurse took us to our room.  It was fun.  Familiar.  Exciting.  My doctor was in surgery so one of the midwives came in and met with us.  It took a while to get everything going as she was communicating with my doctor about the plan to induce.  So it wasn't until about 10:30 that they started pitocin.  Baby did have his head down (an answer to prayer!) but wasn't really descended and they could still move him all around.  The midwife warned that she thought it might be a long day.  We settled in.

My contractions picked up very slowly.  Slower than I remember with Silas or Sim and Lieren.  We texted our parents and let them know not to expect to bring the children up anytime soon.  Shane left for a while to get lunch.  We walked the hall.  And in the middle of the afternoon I realized I had been in labor without any meds for longer than with either of my two previous deliveries.

At 3:43 I texted my mom:  I am tired.  Just broke my water but he is not moving down as quickly as I would like :) Contractions picking up so will prob ask for epidural soon. 

I was just dilated to a 3 at that point.  And I did ask for the epidural pretty much immediately after that.  Breaking my water has always picked up labor for me and this was no exception.

At 5:39 I sent a text to a few friends:  Pray baby descends.  He is still high from being breech.  So ready to meet him!

And I had only dilated to a 4 by then.  What's funny is that my nurse kept doing things to get ready for delivery; getting things out, setting things up.  She kept saying she didn't trust me to take long since this was my third pregnancy.  I just thought it was funny and didn't believe her.  It had felt like a long day that was far from over.  I was only at a 4, after all!

A little before 7 we decided Shane would run get something for dinner.  His dad had come by so they chatted for a bit, Shane ordered a pizza and left to pick it up.  I was still at a 4 and my nurse just warned him to stay close.  I told him nothing was happening soon.

My mom called at 7:20.  Shane's mom had just left to bring Silas up to the hospital to see us.  We had promised him he would get to come meet the baby and since I expected it to be late before I delivered we wanted him to at least get to see us.

I was sitting upright in bed as I was talking to my mom, one of my nurse's suggestions to help baby descend.  About 2 minutes into our conversation my nurse stuck her head in asking if I was ok and said she would come back in a few minutes to check me.  As she walked out I felt something huge change!

I doubled over and felt like I was having the baby!

My nurse ran back in and said she needed to check me now!  She had seen on her monitor what I was feeling.  I said yes! and at 7:22 told my mom I had to go because the nurse was there to check progress.  I could hardly even get the words out.

We're having a baby! she said.  And I totally believed her.  I could tell.

But Shane's not here!

My doctor was just out in the hall so the nurse went to get her.

At 7:23 I called Shane.  Answer your phone!  I couldn't believe he didn't pick up till the 3rd or 4th ring!  I told him we were having a baby and that he needed to come back now!  Seriously!?  He kept saying.  Yes!!

At 7:26 I texted my mom:  We r having a baby.  She replied:  Now?  I wrote back:  Yes.  Then:  Call Judy and tell her to come back to get u all.

My doctor and everyone else began descending on the scene.  As long as you're ok, we'll wait, my doctor reassured me, knowing I desperately didn't want Shane to miss a thing.

(On a side note, Shane called the pizza place on his way back to the hospital to tell them he wasn't coming because his wife was having a baby.  Ha!  Then he ran through the hospital to get up to the room.  He said it felt like a movie scene.)

Shane walked in just as I was saying I was going to have to push.

And our darling baby Blaise was born at 7:40.

Silas, Simeon, and Lieren got to come meet him with Papa, Nana, and Grandma as we had promised...

And finally, late that night, we were a family of six...

We love you, baby Blaise.  We will never be the same because of you.  And for that we are most thankful!

Two More Sleeps

I was downstairs with Simeon this morning when Silas woke.  I heard him running down the hall then he practically hopped down the stairs saying, "Mommy, Mommy, only two more sleeps then the baby will be here!"

He is right...only TWO more sleeps!

Our baby Blaise cannot seem to keep his head down for any length of time.  By the middle of this week I was sure he was breech again.  And when we went in to see the doctor on Thursday, she confirmed it.  She moved him quite easily right there in the office and when we left he was head-down again.  But I don't think he is anymore.  So as we talked through our options and what was most important to us, we all agreed that inducing on Monday was the best plan.  My hope previously was to go into labor on my own (I was induced with both Silas and the twins).  But now it has become more important to me not to have a c-section if at all possible.  My doctor explained that most physicians will not try to turn the baby if you are already in labor.  If I were to go on my own and he was breech, it would most likely mean a c-section.  So we hope to get him in a good position on Monday then get labor going.

Because we now know when baby is coming, my parents came on here rather than waiting a few more days like they had planned.  We had fun picking them up at the airport last night (our three children ran all over that place!) and a nice lunch today here at home with Shane's mom and Lee joining us.

Just after lunch today my mom said, "Well, just think, in 48 hours he could be here!"

It is crazy to me that our "babies" are about to be big siblings!

We will let you know when he's here!

Today and Easter and What's Coming Up

Today Shane stayed home for his Easter holiday.  It was a much-needed productive day and I am wiped out tonight.  We have some students over this evening (it is spring break here, hence the significant increase in students being at our house till the late hours in recent days), Shane is hanging with them, and I am recovering from the days' work.  Tomorrow I have another doctor's appointment and I expect we will start to discuss delivery options if our little man doesn't come on his own soon.

Our Easter was low-key in a good way this year.  Shane and I were grateful for the down-time and family time.  Shane's family always celebrates Easter together the week prior, on Palm Sunday.  That was right in the middle of all the kids being sick but we decided Silas was well enough to go.  He enjoyed getting to hunt eggs with the other children in the extended family.  Simeon and Lieren stayed home for a nap and didn't know the difference.

I was thankful to wake to children who were well on Sunday morning...

Aaaaand this was as good a picture of the three as I could get.  Which I why I usually don't even make an attempt.  Ha!  I was actually amazed I even got all three in the same frame...

Worship on Easter morning at our church was especially meaningful.  I am sure yours was, as well.  Judy and Lee were at church with us, then we all went to lunch together.  It was a nice day and since we were parting ways after lunch, we sat outside for the children to get their baskets from Grandma and Grandpa.

Like I said before, I don't think I look much different this time than when I was nearing delivery with the twins.  Here is a picture of me in the same dress I wore Sunday, if you care to compare.

My parents will be in the country this weekend, which I love.  It's nice to know they will be just a plane ride away, not an ocean away, should I go into labor before they are scheduled to come to our house next week.  I am looking forward to knowing they've landed.  It's always reassuring to my heart to know they are close.  They got to be with us for my two previous deliveries and we would all love it if the Lord let us have that one more time.

Our One Fun Thing

In the midst of all the sickness we had recently, we all got out of the house for one big fun thing.  Silas' friend Jack turned 4 and his family planned a swimming party to celebrate.  I was going to be so disappointed if we had to miss, so was glad when we woke that morning and everyone was well enough to go.  All three of our children absolutely loved it!  We hadn't been swimming since last summer so I really didn't know how they would act in the water.  Simeon and Lieren showed no fear, splashed around and played with great joy till the very last minute.  Silas was trying out his Puddle Jumper (seriously the best floatie invention ever) for the first time so spent most of his time in the deeper water with Shane.  I waded and played with Sim and Lieren in the shallow waters.

I really love the photos of Simeon.  It is how I picture him when I think of him in my head, but I can never capture that excited passion on camera.  Finally I kind-of did...

Baby Blaise

Dear Baby Blaise,

You and I have spent over 38 weeks together now.  I told your big brother Silas that it might just be about 10 more sleeps until you arrive.  He is so excited to meet you.  We are so excited to meet you.

I will tell you honestly that this was not the easiest week.  Your brothers and sister have been sick for a week, one after the other and overlapping and probably passing something back and forth.  I told your Daddy yesterday that we've only done one fun thing in about 7 days.  That means that everyone not only feels cruddy but that we are getting bored as well.  This morning some friends came over and I couldn't have been more relieved for us to have something to do!

On top of the sickness, we had a big surprise with you on Monday.  I went in for what I thought would be a routine ultrasound and we found out you were breech.  After not having a c-section with Simeon and Lieren, I was completely disappointed to find that I might be having one with you.  But the midwife I met with after the ultrasound told me we could try to get you to turn.  So on Tuesday we went in to the hospital to give it a try.  It was a pretty amazing experience.  It was painless.  And took mere seconds.  We were in the operating room just in case something went wrong and of course there was a crowd; reminded me of when Sim and Lieren were born.  When the doctor announced you had turned so easily, the crowd cheered.  God is so good to answer our prayers.  So now you are in a great position and we're just waiting for you to come.  I have a bag packed.  Any day, sweet boy.  Any day.

Last night your Daddy was telling me one more thing about the man whose name prompted yours...Blaise Pascal.  He was one of the first to voice the idea of The Wager.  His proposal was that no one can know 100% for sure that there is a God and that those who choose to believe in the God of the Bible, His Word, and His promises risk nothing.  But, those who choose not to believe risk everything.  Because eternal life hinges on what we do with Jesus.  My prayer is that the Lord will grow you into someone who is convinced that God is everything He says He is and that you are willing to risk everything in this life for what you know about Jesus.

As I sit here late tonight, there is a crowd of students downstairs.  Silas has just finally fallen asleep.  Simeon and Lieren went to bed before the party even started.  And you are wide awake, kicking to your little heart's content.  As for me, I am weary from this week.  Weary knowing it might be two weeks or more until your arrival.  Weary with my own limitations.  Weary with reminders that life is not as it was created to be.  But preaching to myself even now that many of the things that weary me are the signs of God at work in His timing, a full house, ministries, and preparations for your little life...good things.  We already love you, baby Blaise.  And like I said earlier, we can't wait to meet you.