These Months: Humility

I went back in to Silas' room this afternoon after I had already put him down for his nap. He was still awake. I gave him an extra long hug and told him how much I loved him, how thankful I was that God gave him to me. I could feel him relax in my arms. Just hearing him say, "Oh Mommy I love you so much" was enough to let me know going back in was a good move.

We went to the pool with friends and my sister today. The trip was not without its fair share of drama. I spent the majority of the outing like this...
Late in the spring I finally came to the place where I could honestly thank God for the situations that have battled the pride that has such a deep root in me. Not that I haven't found myself trying to hold on to it, but you don't really deal with three children (two of whom are not at all independent and all three of whom only want mommy) in public without a good dose of humility.

And it has now become one of the things for which I have become most grateful in these months.

I know I haven't mentioned it yet, but Simeon and Lieren did have a birthday! The day after they turned one, we marked the milestone with painting, just like I did to mark Silas' eleven-month birthday...

Also, we have been having all kinds of fun with friends. Natalie has been a super-blogger these days, so if you want to take a peek at pics from our trip to the zoo, or the excitement Silas and Jack had making cookies, go ahead!

What's Really Funny is...

...THIS HAS HAPPENED MORE THAN ONCE!

These Months: You're All My Favorites

And just like that, these months have turned into twelve. Which means that today we're having a birthday!

Late last night before I went to bed, I quietly opened the two doors to the rooms where our children sleep. I pulled the covers up over Silas, who had Lion and Monkey, two Lightning McQueen blankets, and three plastic frogs in bed with him. Then I took the last look I would get at the babes (who are really babes no longer) before the clock turned and they weren't zero anymore. I won't forget the way they looked last night. It was a sweet moment. I'm grateful to have it etched in my memory.

So now for the next 10 days we have a 2 year old and two 1 year olds. It is still crazy to me to think that last year at this time we had three children under the age of two. Sort of makes me want to laugh in a did-we-really-survive-all-that kind of way.

At 1 and almost-3, our children are as different as can be, which is something I have been learning in these months. They are different from each other, different from other children, different from me. But their differences, their uniquenesses, their strengths, and even (if not especially) their weaknesses are what I find has endeared them to me in a deep way. A way I never expected. A way that lets me truthfully say (as one of our best books puts it), You're all my favorites.

Darling Lieren has started pointing at everything this past week. She is trying desperately to talk but uses a form of da-da for most things. She does say hi, uh-oh, and nigh-nigh (night-night) consistently. I also think she says di-di for dance-dance but am not as confident about that one. Lieren understands a ton and I am amazed every day at the nouns and verbs she knows. She is crawling all over, pulling up and cruising. But her little legs don't quite let her stand on her own yet, so I think we have a bit before we have another toddler in the house.

Speaking of toddlers, Simeon has transitioned to walking as his preferred method of getting around in just the past 2 days. He holds his arms out in front of him to keep balance and off he goes. Shane has dubbed him the "child of Frankenstein" since that's how he looks when he walks. I really think he walks that way because he is not quite stable enough to walk, but too motivated to let it stop him. He's fearless, this boy. He, too, is beginning to talk with hi and uh-oh. And his understanding blows me away.

I dropped Sim and Lieren's morning nap a couple weeks ago. It's been working out great for us. They sleep better overall now. And I think we're down to 2 bottles a day (not ready to say for sure yet). They are eating mainly table food so I'm moving into that tricky stage where it's hard to find veggies they will eat. (Story of my life. I'm just resigning myself to the fact that I'll never be a hero at getting my kids to eat veggies. And I'm ok with it.)

One of my favorite times with Sim and Lieren right now is when they wake from their nap. We stay and play in their room for a while and they are the snuggliest bears you've ever seen. They sit in my lap, lay down their heads, crawl away, pull up a blanket, climb back up, over and over again. I can't get enough.

In these months, our firstborn has been a gift beyond measure. As he grows, I am more aware of what motivates him, what frightens him, what excites, what delights. I love that I am getting a deeper glimpse into his thoughts as he is able to put what's in his head into words. I love getting to giggle with him at what he thinks is silly, and find ways to strengthen him where he is weak.

Silas is still a learner. Just this week we were typing his new verse, "A friend loves at all times." He typed "at" and "all" with me just saying what word came next. It was cute, surprising, and fun to hear him say that he needed "two l's". I have thanked the Lord countless times this year that Silas is who he is. Take yesterday as an example. He read books for 20 minutes while I got the babes changed and down for their nap then excitedly did puzzles for the next 20 while I showered. That is a gift.

I love them. I love these favorites of mine. And I hope that every mother out there can say the same thing about the little ones in her house: I am so thankful that God chose these three to be in our family, just the way they are.

We Love Daddy

Noticing a theme?
Our three dressed to show Daddy they loved him this evening for Ignite.

And Silas did a great job of writing his name (with minimal help from me!) on the Father's Day poster we made...

These Eleven Months: Community

Today as I was cleaning up the kitchen before putting Silas down for his nap (the babes were already sleeping away upstairs), I put him on the potty for one last time. As he sat, he was looking through one of our story Bibles. It was so sweet to hear him look through the pictures and tell the stories in his own way. At one point he must have turned a page or looked at a different picture because he said, "And there's Jesus again!"

It wasn't profound or anything. It just hit me. That's what this whole year has been. God showing up and showing off and showing Himself to us over and over again.

On Sunday nights I take all three children with me to our high school worship service. It is a way for me to stay connected with our students, to see Shane in his element, and to expose our children to ministry. I love going. But it's getting harder. Every week I wonder if we're going to be able to do it another time. But we keep going because I just can't bring myself to give it up. There are always little things that remind me how important it is. And thankfully, I always have help.

That's one thing about this season that I never anticipated. I simply cannot do it alone. On Sunday nights I have sweet Laura, whose husband leads worship for us, to wrangle and entertain along with me. But before her there were a host of others who helped us get through...

Like Miss Leigh, who took Silas more times than I can remember when I was pregnant. He knew their whole family by name and after we moved away from Louisville, still talked about going to "play trucks at Miss Leigh's house."

And Miss Janet (on the right below), who was always willing to take Silas along whenever I needed something for him to do. He talked about the ice cream she got for him and the DVD player in her car for days on end. Janet even kept Silas all day long on the babies' birth-day.

I was also blessed by friends like Tiffany (sorry, friend, I couldn't find a pic!) and April (above on the left) and Anna (below on the right), who let us drop Silas off with only a moment's notice when something unexpected came up.

My Louisville community wouldn't have been complete without my friend Julie, who was also pregnant at the time. She gave loads of emotional support and prayer, and was the dearest of friends through the long weeks of my pregnancy. I did find a picture of she and I right before we had our babies, but we promised to never share it publicly. So here are our firstborns, taken the last night we were all together before they became big brothers.

From a distance, my sister was a part of our community, too. She even made a couple trips late in the pregnancy to help out. I'll never forget calling her one night in tears and asking her if she could come. She did.

After Simeon and Lieren were born, you know what a big part my parents played in our lives. And since they left, Shane's mom.

We couldn't have done it alone. These eleven months (and even before) are teaching me how we are not meant to do it alone. We are created for community.

One to Remember

Today marked a turning point and I just don't want to forget it. So I am already deviating from my "eleven month learnings" and talking about something else.

First of all, we spent the majority of the day at the Wildlife Prairie Park. Shane and I agreed our favorite part was being outside in the gorgeous weather. We also agreed it was a lot of "prairie" and much less "wildlife". Oh well, the children enjoyed it. Silas claims his favorite part was riding the train and I believe him. He was pretty excited.

Then, in an effort to extend what naptime we were going to get in the car on our way home, I ran into Target to get diapers just for the babes. Yes, Silas is no longer in diapers. Ever. He has woken dry in the mornings for over a week now so I think it's time to bite the bullet and let him say goodbye to diapers forever. Don't get me wrong, though. We are far from being fully potty-trained. Silas still has yet to consistently (read: ever) tell us when he has to go. I really pushed that the past two weeks and it became ugly and negative and lots of whining ensued. So we decided to forget it. When I keep him in a routine and just take him periodically throughout the day, he rarely has accidents. Like today, we were out and about and accident-free. Happy boy, happy mommy. I'm sure he'll figure it out someday.

And then, because Silas had a milkshake while I also ran into the bank, was not going to nap, and was being wildly silly enough to wake the babes, we decided to all go to Walmart for a grocery run. We're crazy, I know. But it worked. The boys played toys with Daddy while Lieren and I grabbed the essentials. It was nicer than wrangling tired kids at home till dinnertime. Anyhow, the point is I did not buy formula at the grocery store. I have a one more container to use up and am slowly transitioning the babes to whole milk. I never thought this day would come. Our grocery budget is breathing a sigh of relief.

These Eleven Months: Beginning Thoughts

A few weeks ago I said to Shane that sometimes I wish I could sit and eat a meal without any interruptions. But then at the same time, I said, I don't really wish that. Because no interruptions would mean no little people growing up in this house. And no little people is unimaginable at this point.

These have been some eleven months; a spiritual journey for me like no other. In the most intricate of details, the Lord has dug deep down into my heart, little by little, day by day in these months. He has been relentless. In a good way.

I know our eleven months have not been as hard as some that others have endured. I know that it has also not been as easy. I know that I am not alone in many of our experiences, but I am wholly grateful that our eleven months were unique enough that no one could tell us exactly what to do. And that humbled us. In a good way.

My heart is full to overflowing about Simmy and Lieren turning 1. So you'll have to bear with me over the next couple weeks as I reflect on the Lord in light of the past eleven months. I haven't always been the best pupil, but I am learning.

Notice I said learning and not learned. I am still definitely in process.

My learning has been shaped significantly by three books and I would be remiss not to mention them: When People are Big and God is Small by Edward Welch, which I read last spring when at home for so many hours alone; Grace-Based Parenting by Tim Kimmel, which I read this winter; and So Long Insecurity by Beth Moore, which I read over the past couple of months. There were other books in this season but the Lord used these 3 to do a lot of that digging I mentioned earlier.

I am not sure I quite have the words, but the bottom line is that I honestly love our God today more than I did eleven months ago. I am more sure that He loves me. I could well-up at the thought of His grace, and I am more willing to take Him at His Word. Ultimately, I am most aware that while I can easily slip myself into the role, I am not god of this house.

At our women's event this week at church, a friend was kidding with me about a situation the Lord was walking her through. Well, the Lord works in all seasons, I quipped, and we laughed. Then a third friend seriously added, Yes, even the ones He is dragging us through. Amen. Couldn't have said it better myself. I am coming out of these eleven months feeling a bit worn from the dragging. And as you can imagine, I am grateful to be on this side of the year. But here I am, and let me tell you, He has been more than worth it!

Before I close these beginning thoughts, I cannot leave you without a glimpse of the babes. Sim and Lieren find great joy in climbing on Silas' bed. Reminds me of a song we sing a lot around here that just might be a preview to a birthday theme: two little monkeys jumpin' on the bed...

Soakin' in the Sun

Our "babies" are going to be 1 two weeks from today. Honestly, I can't even begin to wrap my mind around that right now. Going to need to take some time to process, reflect, and come to terms with the fact that they really are not babies anymore.

Shane gets major props for last night. He fed all 3 children dinner and put them to bed without me! They had a great evening without any major hiccups (we decided that if the worst part of the night was getting Sim's jammies on, it was a pretty good night). But just know nothing around here happens without drama. As I was trying to get myself out, one child was crying because another had smashed her face into the ground and the third child was sticking his fingers into the crack I was trying to close in the front door crying, "I want to go to church with you!"

On a different note, last week we had a fun day getting all of this out for the first time...

It was Happy Birthday to Silas, Simeon, and Lieren from Nana and Papa!

I had been wanting toys for our outdoor summer fun, and we got them! The water table has been the best purchase so far. But for the money, the bubble bucket is about as good as it gets. It doesn't spill and Silas can blow some great bubbles with the wands all by himself.

I'm thinking about sending one to Hudson Hayes for his birthday. I think the "no-spill" feature would bring untold joy to his Mama's heart. Maybe she would even break down and let him blow bubbles inside on the hottest of Texas days!

As I was blowing bubbles for the littles (and Silas was chasing them), I caught this random picture...

And on another day we played again...

Yesterday we went back to the pool during morning Toddler Time. Y'all, it was crowded. We had fun, but Silas was much more apprehensive because of the craziness. I don't blame him. But we had his great high-school friends, Megan and Alexis with us. He loved that. And Elissa, who also came to help, became Lieren's best friend. It was so sweet. Natalie and her 3 came too so between us, we needed the hands!

I ended up going and buying Silas an actual swim shirt because last time he didn't want to take his shirt off. I can imagine this one was way more comfortable.

As I wrote this, the children were napping and our pool was sitting out in the sun warming up for post-nap enjoyment. Sim and Lieren decided an hour and a half was enough nap for them, so up everyone got and outside we went. Our little pool was a great success. The babies crawled around in it and Silas had a blast. Then we dried off with a walk around the block, towing the babies in the wagon. Tomorrow is supposed to be rainy so we might just have to stay indoors for once. Considering the things I have been neglecting inside in exchange for the fresh air and sun, it's probably going to be good for us.