Changes

We're trying to figure out how this new season in life is going to work for us. I am still having contractions each day so am having to rest and take it easy as much as possible. Shane is taking over the house and won't hardly let me do anything. Today he did at least 4 loads of laundry, mowed the yard, and did meals with Silas, along with cleaning up the kitchen. It was such a gift for him to have the day off and us get to all be home together.

But Shane doesn't get to be home everyday so we're praying through the changes we need to make. Anything to keep me from having to go on bedrest! Today I got all teary as I watched Silas play happily while I rested. This isn't exactly how I imagined my last few weeks with him before the babies come. I am already looking forward to all the things we'll do when I am not so huge!

I was supposed to have an ultrasound yesterday but we changed it to next week. My doctors want me back in next week anyway so we all decided it was just as well to switch the ultrasound.

Little Simeon and Lieren don't seem to know that anything is different. They still move and play like crazy. When I'm having contractions it is reassuring to see and feel them move and know that with each day they are getting bigger and more ready to come into the world. The days really can't go fast enough for me right now!

So Thankful

I absolutely love my doctor. I'm sure I haven't mentioned her before, but she is wonderful. The women's health practice I go to has 10 doctors and I had never met our doctor until the day she delivered Silas. I don't ever want to see anyone else now. Here's why...

I had battled anxiety all day about our current situation. I am still having some contractions. So by the time we finally got the the doctor's office in the late afternoon, I got through triage, and we waited for my doctor to come in, I was exhausted and a mess. The minute she walked in and asked how I was doing, I started crying. My doctor immediately gave me a big hug and began to reassure me that we were going to be ok. She proceeded to check everything out and gave us lots of reasons to feel good and thankful about where we are.

I'm already measuring at almost 36 weeks so it's normal for my body to want to start contracting. It doesn't know that it has a ways to go before these babies are full-grown! The most critical weeks are the next three - getting to 32 weeks gestation is a major milestone for the babies, and it's a good short-term goal for me. I feel like I can definitely make it through 3 more weeks, even though we're praying I make it longer. I'm going to take it easy and hope to avoid any kind of progression which could result in bedrest.

Silas had a great afternoon playing with a family from our church. They have been a wonderful blessing to us and Silas gets tons of attention from their three girls! A good friend of mine brought us dinner (just a side note, she and I were laughing because she is desperate to have her baby any day...and I'm the one having contractions!) then Shane got me a shake from Chick-fil-a. So it's a happy night in our household. I really am so thankful.

Contractions and Re-Focusing

We are all home from church today. Shane stayed home to take care of Silas, which in turn was taking care of me. I started having some mild contractions this week and have been advised to take it easy. While I'm on a medication to stop them, as the medicine wears off, the contractions return. So Shane did the whole morning routine with Silas and let me relax.

I have to admit that it's been a hard few days. Hard because I did not expect the doctor to even be talking about pre-term labor when I went in on Friday. Hard because we don't know what might happen next. Hard because I can't keep doing all the things that I'm used to doing.

I told Shane on Saturday night that I was battling a good dose of mommy-guilt. I hadn't been able to play with Silas like we usually do. He had watched more than his typical one video per day, and by Saturday at noon, he had chicken nuggets 4 times this week. Sigh. Pride goes before a fall, it's true. I had just been thinking earlier in the week how pleased I was with his well-rounded diet and the ways I was getting him to eat veggies.

My friend Amber wrote a post that I read on Friday that has ministered to me all weekend. You can read it here, and she gives a link to the original post she read about The Myth of Being the Perfect Parent. I love the quote she chose from the original, "The goal is not to be a perfect parent. The goal is to be a faithful parent. And as long as my focus is on my own success or failure, rather than faithfulness to and love for the kingdom of God, I have failed."

Shane told me a while back that one thing we should be doing is preaching the gospel to ourselves every single day. So yesterday that's what I did. When I had to sit and let a contraction pass, I thought about how faithful the Lord has been to us; when I had to lay down in the afternoon, I listened to songs that reminded me of the cross; and when I put Silas to bed we sang, "Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus." I am praying that my focus would stay on love for the Lord and His Kingdom.

So far the contractions I'm having are not actually putting me into labor. And this can be very normal. The babies seem to be doing just fine, and are much more active than Silas ever was. I am going back to the doctor tomorrow for another check about the contractions, then have a big ultrasound (takes about an hour) scheduled for Wednesday.

Please pray with us that I will carry the babies to 37 weeks...that's just 8 weeks away. And pray that the doctors have wisdom about how to best help us make it there.

And you can also be thanking the Lord with us that Silas continues to thrive, even with a few questionable meals here and there!

Joy and Delight

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Silas has been a complete joy and delight this week. We've done all kinds of things, including a picnic with friends on Wednesday then church on Wednesday night. Silas had one of his best nights in the nursery on Wednesday. His teachers said that he really came out of his shell, interacted with them in play, and did all the actions to the songs they sang. I was so proud when we picked him up and heard the good report.
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By yesterday we both needed a day just at home. So we played outdoors, got dirty, watched some Diego, napped, and just enjoyed being together. Silas is beginning to really have a soft heart toward our instruction and discipline, which makes hanging out with him even sweeter.
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This evening we were ready to get out so since Shane was working (and it was rainy), we headed to the mall to walk, look at the fountains, and have some Chinese food (which I have been craving recently, but it didn't turn out to be that great!). Isn't my date cute? The evening would have only been better if Shane could have joined us...

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On the way to the mall, Silas was having a snack of goldfish. He has started to say "sorry" for a lot of random things. I am not quite sure he gets it. He dropped a few goldfish along the way and I kept hearing his little voice in the back saying, "Sorry goldfish." I giggled more than once! Then he began saying "Hallelujah" over and over again. I don't know where he picked it up cause we don't exactly say that habitually at home (although we do voice our praise with other words!). So we sang "Hallelu-hallelu-hallelu-hallelujah, praise ye the Lord" more times than I care to count on the drive there and home. It was funny.

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One other thing that has brought great delight this week is that Silas keeps asking for Daddy when he's not home. So tonight when we went out, I told Silas we would stop and say hi to Daddy for a minute before we went to eat. Silas then said repeatedly, "Daddy, I see him." Seriously. The boy is pure joy.

TEN Weeks to Go!

I turned 27 weeks yesterday. Because our goal is to make it to 37 weeks, I only have 10 weeks to go before we meet our new little ones. In some ways 10 weeks sounds like it will go by quickly, and in other ways it feels like forever. My doctor continues to call my pregnancy "textbook" and has no concerns about me or the babies. I am so thankful for how the Lord is sustaining and growing their little lives. At my last appointment both babies were about 2 pounds and looked much bigger to me during the ultrasound.

I've had a busy last few days. On Sunday we gave a sweet baby shower for my friend Charis. They will get to meet baby Feven within a week! As you can tell, while I am at 27 weeks, this picture from the shower confirms that my doctor is right: I'm measuring six weeks ahead of a typical pregnancy (which would mean I am measuring about 33 weeks now)...

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I told Shane that he might need to get used to that dress. It is more comfortable than anything else I own so I might just spend the next 10 weeks in it!
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On Sunday evening I had the joy of sharing with our high school girls at their Bible study. It was incredibly meaningful for me to teach from Deuteronomy 1 about how the Israelites made the people around them and their circumstances bigger than God. Going through the scripture for myself and studying for Sunday night has been good for me personally. I'm letting go of a lot of my expectations for the next few weeks and for when the babies arrive. It's been freeing. I am sure I will always be grateful that the Lord took the time to teach me all He's been showing me in this season.
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Then the past 2 days I cleaned out the weeds in our front yard landscaping and put down new mulch. It looks fresh and clean and I can't wait to watch the plants thrive now that they've gotten some attention. It was refreshing for me to get outside some while Silas napped and he loved using the watering can for the first time this evening. I figure a few weeks from now I won't have energy for outdoor projects like that so I'm glad to have the energy to do them now.
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Thanks for continuing to pray for us and our babies! The Lord has been faithful and we know He is hearing our prayers.

The Road Ends Here

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Shane got a call on Monday afternoon from his friend Derrick (we call him Chuck; Shane and Chuck met in the 6th grade on a field trip to Lincoln's home where they shared a bus seat and listened to Cult of Personality, which was just so hilarious that I embedded the video below). Chuck works for the University of Illinois and always gets tickets to sports events like the Final Four. Chuck had an extra ticket to the National Championship game on Monday night and asked if Shane wanted to make the quick 2-hour drive up to Indianapolis for the game. Of course, Shane jumped at the chance to see what could have been one of the most historic games in college basketball history.
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The game was a heart-stopping, back-and-forth, up and down, emotional roller coaster. (Ok, we both just laughed that I wrote that.)

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But seriously. It was a thriller. Butler had a half-court shot to win at the buzzer and analysts are saying if the shot had gone in, it would have been the greatest shot in basketball history. Even though that last shot didn't fall, it was the most epic sporting event Shane has ever been to.

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So the moral of this story is...stay in touch with friends from junior high. You never know who they will turn out to be or what opportunities they might hook you up with. And years later, remembering the music you listened to in the 6th grade might just give you the best laugh with your spouse you've had in a long time (if you watch the video, note the lead singer is in a neon yellow spandex shorts jumpsuit).

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Musical disclaimer: I had never heard this song until tonight and I'm not adding it to my playlist anytime soon!

Sunday Celebrating

I took my sister to the airport yesterday afternoon for her to fly back home. We loved having her here for a few days, especially Sunday, to be with us on Easter as we celebrated the resurrection and new life that Christ gives.
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After church we all had lunch together then came home to play outside for a bit before Silas went down for a nap and we girls headed to the airport.
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Silas is loving all the "flowers" in the backyard. He picked more than a handful for Aunt Tara...

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My darling baby boy was a doll in his Easter outfit. But here's the reality: he had a hard time when we dropped him off at the nursery Sunday morning. His poor face was sadder than I had seen it in a long time! I usually just walk away and know he'll be fine once we're gone, but yesterday I had a hard time, too. Thankfully there was a guy Silas knows who was in his room yesterday morning so after we left, they pulled out a soccer ball and played, which perked our little man right up. And when I hugged him after church was over, I whispered in his ear that even though I might not always be right there with him, Jesus is alive and always taking care of both of us.

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Then, yesterday evening Shane and I took Silas to a park to play. Right before we left he sat down in the wood chips and started digging. His hands got all dirty, which was fine. But then he proceeded to dump wood chips and dirt on his head! It was hilarious. He was covered and there were still pieces of dirt in his hair after his bath. So that sweet boy you see in the pictures is all boy!