It is Sunday night. Shane and I spent most of the day yesterday in the ER. It was among the longest of long days.
You could say it all started when Silas and I were in Singapore. Shane started having pain in his left side one day. He went to a doctor who thought it was probably a kidney stone. Over the next few days the pain came and went, then went and did not come back. So we went on with life until Friday. The pain came back on the right side this time and was horrific. Ten times worse. But still came and went in dreadful waves. Finally, around noon on Saturday we decided something had to be done and drove to the hospital. (Sidenote: Silas in tow. Sick people everywhere. And somehow I didn't have Clorox wipes. Mercy.) Waited a couple or three hours to see the doctor. Shane was in terrible pain...until the doctor came and finally prescribed pain meds. The pain stopped before they gave Shane any medication and it never returned. He got morphine anyway.
Some very sweet friends of ours fed us dinner then, after a joyful arrival home to the pups, we all collapsed into bed.
It was not the day we had anticipated. It was not what we planned. Shane has more schoolwork to do this week than he may ever have had in one week yet. Friday and Saturday were on the calendar as major study days. And a trip to the ER was not exactly what we had budgeted for this month. Know what I mean?
As I fed Silas baby food in the waiting room (trying not to touch anything, but also trying not to think about all the germs everywhere) I asked the Lord what in the world He was up to. He knew all Shane had to do...and He knows we are still paying for school (He didn't need me to remind Him, but I did). I was hoping for some brilliant revelation as to why this was happening. But instead the Lord kept turning my thoughts back to two verses I know well...
Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances,
for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?
Though He slay me, yet will I hope in Him...
Job 2:10 & 13:15
I don't know what kind of brilliant revelation I was hoping for. I think the Lord was pretty brilliant and clear in His Word. He doesn't promise ease. Walking with Him is more of a guarantee that we will be challenged. Because it is in the challenge that our own legs are crippled, forcing a dependence on God. Period.
So I started thanking the Lord in the ER. Thanking him for sweet nurses and a kind doctor. Thanking Him that we were all together. Even thanking Him that Silas napped. And I'm thanking Him tonight. Thanking Him that Shane is well and now studying. That we have friends who had us over at the last minute. That He always provides. That He is answering our prayers. We have been praying to see His hand move in our lives in a new way. We want to give more of ourselves to Him. We want to be more conformed to His image. We want to know Him deeper. Depend on Him more. And if it takes a trip to the ER for us to get there...if it takes more than that...yet will we hope in Him.
But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you,
for My power is made perfect in weakness."
Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses,
so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake,
I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties.
For when I am weak, then I am strong.
2 Corinthians 12:8-10